The Joy Of Boys 10

Aiden has gone all Michael Jackson on me.  He has this lovey new thing of shoving his hand down his pants and fondling his crotch.  Continually.  Constantly.  Consistently.  Doesn't matter when, he can do it any time of time.  Not just in the mornings if you know what I mean.  No, it isn't just a morning woody that is literally and figuratively up.  He will do it before breakfast before I shriek for him to go wash his hands immediately.  While getting dressed I suppose it is understandable and quite possibly necessary to do it when the task of putting on underwear is at hand.  He does it in the village park between getting on the swing and going down the slide.  Always at bedtime, right smack in the middle of Elephant & Piggie.  Public spaces don't faze him either.  A snaking line of movie goers at the cinema ticket booth line or an elevator full of people or a the entire Megamall on a payday mega sale will not stop him when the urge is at hand.

Why? Why? Why?

He needs to adjust his penis he says.  Well how can I argue with that? This is one of those few times that I can honestly say I don't have the balls (or more precisely the penis) to give him sage advice or wise tips.  I consulted a few men who instead of cringing gave me a smirk the equivalent of fist pump in the air and an elaborate and complicated manly handshake some dumb fraternity would create.  You know one of those involving too much gratuitous hand holding and a random chest bump. 

While the men were of no help, the women on the other hand were a greater support as they always are.  I have a few friends with sons in their early teenage years who are are also going through the same thing.  They are however dealing with crotch fondling issues of a more serious and eminent kind.  Their stories involving extended bathroom use, triple x rated Googling and wads upon wads of tissue paper are beyond hilarious.  They sound like scenes stolen from American Pie and Fast Times At Ridgemont High.  So what else can I do but feel relieved in greater misery of others.  For the meantime.       

Mother's Day Giveaway

Mothering has got to be the craziest thing that I have ever done.  Bringing to life two earthlings and taking complete responsibility for the adults that they will become is beyond daunting.  It is absolutely insane!!!!!!  While I always wanted to be a mother, not once did it occur to me that it would be a hell of a lot of work.     No one ever tells you of the amount of tiny clothes you will have to wash and fold.  Or the never ending arguments about brushing teeth and brushing them NOW.  Or that little boys are also little men who do not lift the toilet seat or wipe it after, do not throw their clothes in the hamper and will finish the food on the table before you even get a change to sit down.

Sure, motherhood is a joy and fills your heart with so much love and happiness you are afraid that it will explode.  But this week I want to reward you for  for all the hard work that you do and all the craziness that you have to put up with.  One lucky mama will get a Mothering Earthlings Discount Car.  It is a 10% discount and valid from June to December of this year.

This giveaway is open to all mamas who like our Facebook Page and follow Earthlingsmama on twitter.  Click away below to join.  The contest ends on May 13, Monday.

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