31 May 2011

Lard Ass or Fat Liar

People tend to to tell me that I've lost weight.  I should be jumping for joy but no, I no longer fall for it.  This compliment can only mean two things - I was a total lard ass who mistakenly thought high wedge sandals would give me Giselle Bundchen legs or they are big fat liars that have nothing better to say so they distract me by throwing in a complement.  Seriously.  The thought that everyone's last memory of me is noticeably larger than the present is not exactly on the positive side of things.  Especially when I know that beneath my loose top is a substantial amount of flab hanging over my jeans.  Let's just be more specific here, are you trying to tell me that I used to be the size of Jabba The Hut?

And no, I am not being ungrateful.  You see I am a big person who doesn't fit in most Asian sized clothes unless they have an XL or bigger.  This is a good thing if you want to feel like you have porn star boobs and no top will do them justice.  My waistline is about as big as the standard teeny tiny Asian girl's chest.  Even in high school I was on the always on the size cusp of men's jeans at Levi's.  I probably weigh as much as my manorexic triathlete cousins.  Haven't weighed myself since I was pregnant and have no intention of getting back on a scale in this lifetime.  I usually eat more than Paco but slightly less than Gael does.  Nope, I was never the sort of date that only ordered salad.  What can I say, I'm just not cut out to be your typical Asian woman I guess.    

Again, not ungrateful.  Just keeping it real.