14 June 2011

On Boys Having Babies

We got close to the how are babies made question and I just realized that I am going to have tell the earthlings that daddy stuck his penis in mama's vagina and VIOLA!  More or less.  Obviously I am not going to give them the personal, blow by blow, porn account of the event.  But they are going to figure things out quicker than I would like to imagine and doesn't the thought of parents having sex gross out all children?

Gael:  Mama, can boys have a baby in their stomachs?

Me:  No, Gael only women can have babies in their stomachs.

Gael:  Why?

Me:  Actually the baby is in the uterus.  The uterus is sort of a hole in women especially for babies to live in.

Gael:  But why don't boys have a uterus?

Me:  Because it is the mamas responsibility to carry the baby in her uterus.

Gael:  So what do the boys do?  *Shudder, here it comes!*

Me:  The boys get ready to be papas.  *PHEW*  Would you want to have a baby in your stomach?

Gael:  NO WAY!!!!!! 

Of course.  What did I expect from the male species?

I remember when I was 6 my mom was pregnant and none of her explanations seemed to work.  I just couldn't get it, there seemed to be no logic at all to the answers I was getting.  A man and a woman fall in love and they have a baby?  I loved Sean Cassidy and John Travolta, did that mean I would have a baby with them?  Why not????? It's not fair!  Mama tried so hard, she tried with all sorts of material but they just all sort of beat around the bush just the way parents do when they don't want to let you in on something.  Usually something good.  Then one day at a bookstore in Greenhills I found this book that totally explained the whole idea of sex.  TOTALLY.  With a whole love angle, technical details plus precise and comprehensive illustrations.  We bought the book, read it at home and I had a huge light bulb moment in my head.  Finally and what's the big deal, I wondered.

Even if I was only 6, I wasn't grossed out by the idea of sex or think of my parents differently.  I was just thrilled to ultimately have my question answered.  When the dreaded question does come, I must remember that frustration for not getting any answers and just be absolutely truthful.  Sex is a beautiful thing and if he learns that early he will, hopefully, never be an ass to women in this department.

Side Note:  If only I had that book to use with the earthlings.  Oh no, wait a second.  I can't.  It was RIDICULOUSLY confiscated by the nuns of St. Paul's Pasig when I was supposed to bring my favorite book to class and the book was all about S-E-X.  They even called my very pregnant mom to school to whip her ass for having sex.  If this happened today they would have put her on a pedestal for not using contraceptives.  Then I was made to bring another GP book the next day as my punishment.  Too late sisters!  I was already enlightened.