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The Joy of Boys 5

This particular Joy of Boys is not universal.  No.  I've checked, not all boys do it but mine do.  I guess I'm just lucky that way.  They used to like teasing each other, shoving each other and sneaking in a kick or pinch when I'm not looking.  Now it's turned into a full on wresting match.  They pounce on each other, pin each other down and lock each others' heads in a Hulk Hogan grip.  When they're really into it props are in order.  Pillows to squish, 'nets' to trap, light sabers to use the force, capes to make them fly and the occasional angry penguin when all else fails.  Come and get me, they taunt each other.  But one of them usually ends up in tears.

My hippie mantra of non violence was thrown out of the wresting ring and now it's every little boy to himself.  I have a new rule, if you insist on playing the ridiculous game, then don't complain when you get hurt.  Wanna play rough, then you might was well have the balls for it.

I can only cross my fingers and hope this isn't a sign of future Jackasses in the making.

The Bride's Iron Chef Shower

My only and little brother got married last month.  We used to call him Babe Rikks, now he is Mr. Babe Rikks.  But during the engagement period we lovingly referred to him as Groomzilla.  To welcome The Bride into the family, my mom, sister, tita and I threw her a bridal shower.  None of us are into the toilet paper wedding gown sort of games, instead we had an Iron Chef shower. Groomzilla and The Bride are big foodies so my sister had this brilliant idea.

We invited the guests and Pinoy Eats World did the rest.

Secret Ingredients

Team Orgasm Overload

Team Raunchy & Randy

 Mrs. Babe Rikks

Photographs By:  Cres Yulo

After way too much chopping, stirring, beating, cucumber gin tonics and trash talking we were done with our Sensual Breakfasts in 2 hours.  Groomzilla and The Bride did the taste test and my team won.  Not because of me but because I put The Bride's mother on my team.  Hey, perks of being the organizer.  The real Pinoy Eats World chefs served us the yummiest gumbo and tapa sandwiches.

No why in the world would anyone chose stupid phallic cucumber games and uncomfortable lap dancing by a most likely gay stripper over something like this?

I'll Never Be A Morning Person

Every single morning this week Aiden catches me getting dressed when he gets up.  He storms into the room, gropes me and declares "Mama, your boobs, tummy and butt are like trampolines!"  Dude, a simple good morning would more than suffice.  Haven't you seen how cranky I am in the mornings?

Every friggin' morning.

CO.LAB

I'll let you in on a little secret to how I keep my sanity working from home with two crazy earthlings.  Remember that one of the earthlings is a little devil, so that's like having two thousand kids instead of two.

This is co.lab where I actually get things done a couple of days a week.

The Happy Little Dude

You might have assumed that Aiden can be a royal pain in the ass.  Well you are unmistakably right in that assumption.  Today was one of those days that he was driving me absolutely nuts by doing everything he isn't supposed to.  If there is one thing I cannot tolerate with the earthlings is rudeness and disrespect.  That is one battle I always pick.  When he was being rude to his yaya (nanny) for what felt like the hundredth time this morning and when I told him off for what felt like the millionth time in in four hours since we woke up, he totally lost it.  He broke out in a sweat, yelled, stomped his feet, boxed the air and shook in anger.

Aiden:  Mama, I don't love you anymore!  In tears and screaming his head off.

Me:  It's OK, I still love you anyway.

Aiden:  Thanks, Mama! 

And just like that he gave me a big smile, hugged me and happily walked away.  The little devil was suddenly the happy little dude.  That deserves a  forehead palm slap moment.  After the too long for a 4 year old spiels I was giving, that was all he needed to hear.  Sometimes you think you got this mothering thing down pat, then your little child in an attempt to run over to you steps over some crackers that he threw on the floor earlier, knocks down a one of a kind flea market find vase along the way, touches your immaculate walls with his chocolate and saliva stained hands and pulls the rug out from under you. 

The Still Obsessed Earthling

The Twins

The Triplets

Skipper

The Rookery

Bath Friends

Literature

Extended Family

(RIP those we've lost along the way)

I can't imagine why you would want to but you can read more about his obsession here.

On Boys Having Babies

We got close to the how are babies made question and I just realized that I am going to have tell the earthlings that daddy stuck his penis in mama's vagina and VIOLA!  More or less.  Obviously I am not going to give them the personal, blow by blow, porn account of the event.  But they are going to figure things out quicker than I would like to imagine and doesn't the thought of parents having sex gross out all children?

Gael:  Mama, can boys have a baby in their stomachs?

Me:  No, Gael only women can have babies in their stomachs.

Gael:  Why?

Me:  Actually the baby is in the uterus.  The uterus is sort of a hole in women especially for babies to live in.

Gael:  But why don't boys have a uterus?

Me:  Because it is the mamas responsibility to carry the baby in her uterus.

Gael:  So what do the boys do?  *Shudder, here it comes!*

Me:  The boys get ready to be papas.  *PHEW*  Would you want to have a baby in your stomach?

Gael:  NO WAY!!!!!! 

Of course.  What did I expect from the male species?

I remember when I was 6 my mom was pregnant and none of her explanations seemed to work.  I just couldn't get it, there seemed to be no logic at all to the answers I was getting.  A man and a woman fall in love and they have a baby?  I loved Sean Cassidy and John Travolta, did that mean I would have a baby with them?  Why not????? It's not fair!  Mama tried so hard, she tried with all sorts of material but they just all sort of beat around the bush just the way parents do when they don't want to let you in on something.  Usually something good.  Then one day at a bookstore in Greenhills I found this book that totally explained the whole idea of sex.  TOTALLY.  With a whole love angle, technical details plus precise and comprehensive illustrations.  We bought the book, read it at home and I had a huge light bulb moment in my head.  Finally and what's the big deal, I wondered.

Even if I was only 6, I wasn't grossed out by the idea of sex or think of my parents differently.  I was just thrilled to ultimately have my question answered.  When the dreaded question does come, I must remember that frustration for not getting any answers and just be absolutely truthful.  Sex is a beautiful thing and if he learns that early he will, hopefully, never be an ass to women in this department.

Side Note:  If only I had that book to use with the earthlings.  Oh no, wait a second.  I can't.  It was RIDICULOUSLY confiscated by the nuns of St. Paul's Pasig when I was supposed to bring my favorite book to class and the book was all about S-E-X.  They even called my very pregnant mom to school to whip her ass for having sex.  If this happened today they would have put her on a pedestal for not using contraceptives.  Then I was made to bring another GP book the next day as my punishment.  Too late sisters!  I was already enlightened.   

Isn't That a CocoManga's Jam Jar?

Have you seen these?  Hannah Hart cracks me up.   Drunk videos are funny, especially when you aren't in them.  Lucky for me digital cameras and Facebook weren't invented when I was in school or the word hangover would have a whole other meaning.  Well, there is that one video of that beach trip in 1993 but it was thrown or got erased by someone drunker than I was.  Or at least someone who did something more embarrassing than I did.

At An Azkals Game

We finally take Gael to an Azkals game.  Someone was thrilled, someone else wasn't.

The thrill of your teams goal.

 

Then sometimes the other team scores the goal.

These ridiculous sponsors boards were blocking the view of paid seats.  

Meralco, you suck in so many ways.

Self Entertainment

Gorgeous skies!

Running to the field after the game.  Only in the Philippines!!!!

En La Luna

I've written about the pee in your pants funny, the aren't you glad you don't have my kids crazy and the rare awwww inducing endearments my earthlings say.  Well now it's Paco's turn.   He isn't a man of killer one liners, he is more of the Claude Levi-Strauss quoting breed.  Yes, I did have to Google that to make sure I wasn't referring to the jeans guy.  So when something like this happens I celebrate that he too can be a nut job like the rest of us Guerreros.

Me:  Gael, your class this year is Prep Luna.

Paco:  How cool is that, Gael.  They've got planets for classes at Keys!

Me:  DUUUUUUDDDDEEEEE, I think they mean the artist not the planet.

Despite Being On The Naughty List Aiden's Dream Comes True

Mr. Popper's Penguins was a movie tailor made for the little penguin loving devil.  Maybe if he watches in his penguin suit we'll get a prize.

Photo Source

Football Fever

One of the best things about Paco is that he isn't a sports geek. I don't have to live through hell when it's NBA season or the World Cup or the exhilleryawning Masters Tournament. Even better, he doesn't have his friends coming over at ridiculous hours day and night to watch games, matches, semifinal and finals. He couldn't care less about balls going in holes, nets or goals. He is more interested in uprisings in the middle east, what the latest art exhibits are and finding the best digital filling and back up system for his kick ass but big ass image bank. Yes, he is that kind of a geek.  See guys, just because God gave me Aiden doesn't mean I'm doomed with bad karma!!! 

Then in comes Gael, a natural athlete. A little boy born with muscles as my cousin-in-law Marco likes to say. He could run and dribble a football as soon as he could walk. But its not just football classes, winning tournaments and collecting medals. He's got the football fever and he's even mapped out his football career.  Makati Football School - Azkals - Football Club Barcelona.  But he isn't in it alone, he has his cousins in the front seat on this insane ride. He lives it, he dreams it and sleeps to it. Yes, he literally sleeps to it. Bedtime stories are from his Football Philippines Magazine.  One night it's the Younghousbands article, last night was Azkals Make Us Proud.  He is so inspired and believes that one day he can play with Messi and score goals against Iker Casillas.  I don't have the heart to tell him that football usually means early retirement.

You might be thinking that I just totally negated my good karma, you know the one overshadowed by the little devil. NO WAY! I'm the first one to be at his practise, watch his tournaments in the scorching heat or pouring rain, I invite friends and family to his games. Hell, I even bought folding chairs with roofs!  ROOFS!  Unabashedly, I'm loving this whole soccer mom gig. With roofed chairs in tow, I totally rock it.  I buy him the jerseys, he can You Tube anytime as long as its about football, I even let him watch a game a 2:30 in the morning (the not waking up was not my fault). He and his cousins can bore me with football anytime and I will still feed the fever.

Adele In The House

Adele has this amazing affect on Gael and Aiden.  She calms then down, she turns frowns into smiles and she makes them sit through entire meals.  They sing with her, they dance to her and they request her.  We're hitting ourselves on the head for not discovering this sooner.