Angry Birds Cake

The entire Guerrero house has gone Angry Birds crazy.  Everyone expect Paco which is ironic because he is the only one with an iPhone and an iPad.  But that doesn't stop any of us from bugging the hell out of him and fighting over who gets to play first, second or third.  I've already confessed my addiction here and maybe I've sparked the madness in them, but they certainly have taken it to the next level.  They cuddle with the dolls, they build and destroy Jenga pig castles, they honor them with Angry Bird paintings.  I showed them the video of the T Mobile Angry Birds Live ad on You Tube and they not only loved it but discovered a whole world of Angry Birds inspired cartoons and videos out there.  This particular home video has caught Aiden's attention.

After watching it tens of thousands of times Aiden decrees that we're going to make the same cake ourselves.  He assumes we can walk into the kitchen and casually whip up this well engineered and constructed masterpiece.  Sweetheart, I'm flattered you think that I have the Ace of Cakes skills but you must be friggin kidding me.  We've had lots of whining and tears, sadness and frustration because of my failure to reproduce this cake.  No matter how many times I tell him I don't know how to make a cake like this one he still asks and begs and pleads.  One day I had a revelation, I needed to approach the issue differently.  Next time Aiden bugged me to me make the cake I tell him "You know, in the video it's the daddy that makes the cake.  Maybe you should ask Daddy if he can make it for you."

His face lit up and he was obviously thinking that I was totally right.  As soon as Paco came home Aiden went on full on nag mode.  Every chance he gets he asks, begs and pleads for Paco to please, please, please make him the Angry Birds Cake.  Paco recently came home from an out of town trip and was greeted by a letter from Aiden requesting for the cake yet again.  Smart guy, he put it down in writing  as proof.  He'll probably keep it in file so he can say I told you so or sue us in the future for breech of parental baking obligations.

Just this morning he was at it again at breakfast.

Aiden:  Daddy, can you make me the Angry Birds cake.

Paco:  I'll think about how to do it, OK Aiden?

Aiden:  OK, you think about it.

Paco:  I am thinking about it.

Aiden:  Think harder Daddy.

The Library

Gael is in a real school now so he gets to do things only big kids do such as have lunch at school and borrow books from the library.  I was thrilled when he came home with this library card one day but it didn't get him as excited as it got me.  He wasn't exactly going on and on about a lame library card like I was.  I don't even know why the thought of the library moved me, when I was in school my favorite part of the library was the air conditioning.  His first borrowed book, Monster Machines of all things, was returned late and I had to pay a 3 day fine due to the weekend.  I guess that crap they say about the apple and the tree bears some truth.

Determination Is a Good Thing, Right?

Last week I made last minute plans to do the Viaje del Sol.  The highlight of the trip being a lunch on a bamboo raft on Lake Pandin which I thought the boys would love.  Excited, I informed the earthlings that we were going out of town and take a ride and possibly swim in a lake.  Aiden's face lit up and spent the rest of his waking hours telling me and Paco that he wanted to go to the lake and go fishing.  Every single time he made eye contact he seized the opportunity to say he wanted to go fishing on the lake.  HE WANTED TO GO FISHING ON THE LAKE NOW!  There was nothing else on his mind but lake and fishing for the next 36 hours.  I don't know where he got the idea that the trip to the lake involved fishing but he wouldn't take any opposition from anyone.  I spent the rest of my waking time evading the issue.  I want to go fishing now.  So what toys do you want to bring on the trip?  I want to go to the lake now.  What snacks do you want for the car ride?

Finally we get to the lake, put on our life vests and  set off to explore it.  Right smack in the middle of the lake he then reminds us that it is time for him to go fishing.  No one else was fishing at the lake, not even the locals and I attempt to break it to him gently.  He didn't care if no one else was fishing HE wanted to go fishing.  After endless nagging Paco asks the manangs who were in charge of the lake tours if they had any fishing rods the earthlings could use.  Well why didn't you tell us sooner is the response we get.  The head rower yells to someone in washing clothes at a house at one end of the lake who then gives instructions to a teenager who proceeds runs to the 'dock' part of the lake.  Within ten minutes a man comes rowing towards us and hands over some thin bamboo rods.  Fishing rods! Aiden was right all along, he was going fishing on the lake.  Two entire minutes of fishing.  Yes, you read that right.  Two friggin minutes.

With fishing finally ticked off the bucket list we jumped in and the earthlings had the time of their lives swimming or perhaps bobbing on the lake in the life vests is more appropriate.  As soon as we are done with Lake Pandin, the minute we step off the raft Aiden holds my hand, turns to me, smiles and says I want to go to the beach.  On the fifteen minute walk back to the car he says it every five seconds just in case I didn't hear him the other one hundred and twenty times.  He wants to go to the beach!  Didn't you enjoy the lake, I ask him.  I did but I like the beach better, he smugly tells me without batting an eyelash.  We are actually going to the beach in a couple of weeks but that isn't soon enough for him.  At the bed and breakfast, at lunch, at dinner, at bedtime, all throughout the next day, any idle moment is spent telling anyone in his line of vision HE WANTS TO GO TO THE BEACH NOW!

At The Ronac Art Center

The Ronac Art Center is such a cool place to hang out.  So instead of the usual mall or Fun Ranch we took the kids there last Saturday for their first burgers and to just kick back.  They said the place was "awesome" and shame on us parents for not taking them sooner. 

This giant lego sculpture won them over in a flash.

They like to pretend that they are by themselves all the time.  Yeah, two pip squeaks out for some burgers, fries and froyo on a payday weekend.

The footballer trying to figure out what the big deal is about basketball.

Even a simple thing like the stairs got them all excited.  If only I had the curiosity of a child again.

It's In His Kiss

Aiden:  Daddy, don't give me lots of kisses.

Paco:  Why not?  Doesn't heed the little devil's warning and launches into another attack of kisses.

Aiden:  If you kiss me more than three times I won't love you anymore.

Paco:  Why?

Aiden:  Because it's scratchy.

Me:  Can I kiss you lotsa times?

Aiden:  Yes.

Didn't I tell you we rule the world????

Guess What I Got?

One of the great things about blogging is that I get to meet the funniest and coolest mombloggers around.  Not only do I get to know them through their blogs but I've actually met them in person.  After following somebody's blog regularly and interacting via comments and tweets, meeting them in person is so easy.  No shitty uncomfortable silences.  Last weekend I got together with some mombloggers and I came home with the the most timely present ever from Kris of OC Mom In Manila - a Steripod.  It is something like a sterilizer disguised a toothbrush cover.  Obviously this post about Aiden and my toothbrush must have made Kris run to the bathroom projectile barfing and douse herself in mouthwash and ethyl alcohol.  Now if only she could give me a Steripod the size of a little boy that I could keep by the front door for disinfection from an afternoon of running, rolling and sweating in the streets and park.  Thank you Kris for letting me brush my teeth again without fear.

Mr. Out Of The Box

Many times I wish I could take a peek into Aiden's mind.  Just for a brief moment, I don't think I could handle much more than that.  I imagine it would be the same as stepping into a Dr. Seuss book where nothing seems to make sense.  The made up words and creatures, the unusual delivery and the not exactly childlike allegory.  The more you read, the more you get into it and the more you grasp the essence.  I picture it as a Michel Gondry movie or music video.  Surreal, colorful, innovative and full of wild creativity.  Confusing at many points but remarkably unforgettable.   

Boys Do Not Rule The World

Being the queen of the house has a gazillion upsides.  The boys are never rough with me, they sometimes carry my bags for me, they open doors for me and they tell me I am beautiful.  But they are still of the sperm carrying species which means that they have traces of the double standard and gender biased hormone in them.  As much as I try to prove to them that women rule the world, they get this ridiculous notion that girls can't do things boys do and boys can't do things girls do.  No matter how hard I strive to set things straight, they insist I am lying because their friends told them otherwise.  A friend that isn't mature enough to even cross the street by himself, a friend that most likely has a bedtime of 8:30 and most likely sleeps with a stuffed doll, a friend that is so small he needs a friggin booster chair to see out the car window, a friend that is not capable of writing in cursive or spelling the word prejudice.  Little boys with misguided thoughts.  Next time these friends come over I should ask them to leave their narrow minds outside the house.  

When the earthlings want to do some role playing I always HAVE to be the female character.  If I choose to be Obi Wan Kenobi or The Big Bad Wolf they will not have it.  In their minds there is no way I can be those characters because they are boys and my insisting that I can be whatever I want to be in a world of make believe only brings them to tears and accusations of foul play.  Aren't we just PRETENDING, what's big deal?  Isn't the whole point to be someone you aren't? I think I forgot to mention in the first paragraph the innate stubborn hormone inherent in all men of all sizes.

The gender bias isn't even the same for them, being so yin and yang as they are.  Supposedly inappropriate long hair for men is fairly easy to refute with Gael.  A quick Google picture search of the ever so cool Bono, Lenny and Brad will make him beg me for long hair.  Aiden refuses to have anything but a barber's cut and he is the one with the silky, shiny, straight Asian hair.  Go figure.  Particular colors and dressing for the male gender is not a light battle.  Gael particularly refuses to wear pink as it interferes with his almost 6 year old masculinity.  The words tough guys wear pink fall on his deaf ears and I end up feeling like such a square mom suggesting to him what he should wear.  Aiden on the other hand couldn't care less if I gave him pink shoes.  

Then there are the sweeping statements that make me so enraged I can't help but take them personally.  You can't drive fast because you're a girl.  You're not strong because you're a girl.  You can't beat me at Wii because boys are better at Wii.  We don't play with the girls anymore because their games are corny.  Only daddies can drive motorcycles.  Only mamas go to the grocery.  Boys don't dance ballet.  Boys only breakdance.  Only boys can moonwalk.  Mama, you have to cook the food because you're a girl.  Mama, you're a loser because you're a girl.         

OH SHUT UP!  What do you know?  You can't even tie your damn shoelaces.  For your information little earthlings I can do whatever the fuck I want BECAUSE I AM A WOMAN.

You're picking a fight with the wrong person.  I'm going to whip your asses into open mindedness.

Remember Punky Brewster?

I've been following her of late.  Not the reruns of the show but the Punky Brewster of the present.  Soleil Moon Frye has become a mommy media maven, she has her web community Moonfrye, she created an eco clothing line for children called Little Seed, she host the daily web show Her Say and a hell of a lot more.  Who knew a child actor could turn out so well?  She is bubbly as ever, you can't help but follow her everywhere.

Make-Up

Me:  Gael, don't forget that you have make-up class this Saturday.

Gael:  WHAT????  WHY????

Me:  Remember when the storm Falcon was here and you had no class because it was raining so hard?

Gael:  Yeah.

Me:  Well you have to make-up for the day you missed.

Gael:  But why do we have to put on make-up?


I don't put on that much make-up.  I swear I don't.   Just a mountain of concealer.  And slab of eyeliner.  A bit of gloss on the lips or they get too dry.  Then maybe some blush to make me look thinner.  But that's it.  Most days at least.

ShopCrazy

Stylist Leona Laviña Panutat checks out Mothering Earthlings as she prepares for her little earthling.  Her top picks are In The Crib's statement onesies and NursingMom's chic diaper bags.

Bromance

They are polar opposites but Gael and his cousin Teo can't get enough of each other.  If Gael had his way he would have himself adopted by Teo's family. 

 

You Can Now Add Janitor To The List

Today I found Aiden on his knees scrubbing the floor.  Ah, the heavens must have heard and answered my prayers of bringing up the earthlings the right way.  I would have patted myself on the back for raising a responsible 4 year old boy had he not been scrubbing the floor with my fucking toothbrush.  Can you believe the gall of this boy?  The audacity of the kid to not even use his is own fucking toothbrush.

Thank you for helping out in the chores but just don't.  Seriously, just don't.  After dumping what used to be my toothbrush and is now his cleaning apparatus in the trash I started to have the most horrible of thoughts.  You know those thoughts that once they start coming they just keep on coming with what seems like no end to them.  No matter how hard you to try to focus on something pleasant like your Lola's (grandmother's) home cooked pochero your mind keeps going back to the disagreeable.  Like that day you Googled chicken pox and boils and couldn't stop looking at the pictures no matter how puss filled, vomit inducing and grotesque they were.  Has Aiden ever used my toothbrush other than for teeth cleaning before?  Did he clean his toes after playing in the sandbox at the park?  Did he buff the bathroom tiles to remove the bacteria filled gaps between them?  Did he scrape the sink drain where we all know cockroaches come from when we're sleeping?  DID HE FUCKING BRUSH THE FUCKING TOILET WITH MY FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH?????