29 June 2012

The Joy of Boys 8

The boys seem to think having a baby is the easiest thing in world.  Paco included.  To them having a baby would be all fun and games.  Paco included until he sees the diaper bill and later on the tuition times three bill.  Yeah sure, fun and games until the baby gets colicky, screams like a sacrificial goat and then everyone hands the baby over to ME!!!!  Paco is at the head of that line.  I think I mentioned in some post, but am too darn lazy to look for it right now, that Aiden's best friend in the neighborhood recently became an older brother.  Aiden says the baby is so cute we should have one too.  I remind him that a baby isn't a possession that he can have just because his friend has one.  He promises to play with the baby, carry the baby all the time and tell jokes to make the baby laugh.  Surpise, surprise, Paco does too.

The boys are always asking for a puppy and there is only one thing that convinces them it is a bad idea - the thought of cleaning it's poop.  So it's tactic poop scare to the rescue and I tell them that you have to change a baby's poopy diapers around a gazillion times a day.  Not only that, they wake up 2 gazillion times at night to drink milk.  Of course Mr. Smarty Pants KNOWS.  He just knows.  But Mama, you will change the diapers and feed the baby, right? I would have cried prejudice pig in my freedom childless years but having had two earthlings, I know that I will do the gazillion diaper changes and I will be the zombie doing the all the nighttime feedings.  So you see Aiden, you are picking all the wrong arguments.  Instead of winning me over to you cause, you are convincing me otherwise.

Right when I hear the Chariots of Fire song playing in my head as I am about to raise my arms up in victory and my uterus is no longer shaking in fear, I get totally blindsided by the other earthling.  Mama, didn't you like us when we were babies?  Who knew Gael was sitting there planning his attack?  He is supposed to be the sweet and sensitive one.  My mini me in so many ways.  My partner in crime. 

I smell Paco and his daddy's little girl dream all over this.