20 November 2012

My Christmas Cheer

The earthlings have been at it again.  Nagging me to put up the Christmas tree.  Comparing our bare house to the neighbors' lights, Santas, wreaths, sleighs, Rudolph and general yuletide cheer.  They complain that we are always one of the last to get the decor up.  For reasons I cannot comprehend they want to be first ones, the winners of the Christmas commercial rat race.  If I had my way there would be no tree, lights or Christmas dishes.  That would only leave the earthlings absolutely crushed and heartbroken.  So every December, for the past 6 years, I suck in my usual party pooper self and bring out the jolly in me. 

This year I decided to give our tree a new look, something more fun and more for the boys.  Not just a token tree with a ton of same toned balls I dumped in my shopping cart and ran out of the store before yet another bad version of Jingle Bells drove me nuts.  So the boys and I started looking around months ago, we slowly checked out all the stores and picked the only the stuff we liked.  No fillers, no cesspool of corny crap in our shopping bags and nothing that isn't fun and earthling approved.  One weekend we went all the way to Dapitan to find stuff we couldn't get in the malls.  It is Christmas to your ears over there but the boys were thrilled and they called the Dapitan market a Christmas village.  It was such a hit we just might go back for more when we finally get the tree up and realize that changing the whole concept of our Christmas tree is a hell of a lot more work than we though.  So you see, I haven't been that Grinchy this year.

That is not until the earthlings decide to take things a little too far.  Hyped up with all the Christmas shopping, they decide that decorating the house isn't enough.  This year they want to decorate the car, Chistmasify it and take Christmas with us everywhere we go.  Gael wanted to deck it out with lights and Aiden wanted to put a big fat bow on top so we look like a prize at a raffle a gift.  They have gone absolutely mad, they got the Christmas crazies.  I indulge them with a bit of Christmas spirit and they suck it all in and go ballistic this season like many people I know.  I'm not going to name names because I am far more ashamed of you this time of the year than I feel like shaming you BUT you know who you are.  A Santa toilet seat cover is not cute and I am pretty sure will put you on Santa's shit list for life.  Having more than three Christmas trees and all the bells and whistles to go with them should only be legal if your name is Mrs. Clause.  Going overboard on the outdoor lights and inflatable stuff means that your neighbors come by to snicker at how much you'll be paying Meralco next month, they aren't really admiring your display of ostentatiousness.  Seriously Christmas is no excuse for temporary insanity. 

No. Over. My. Dead. Body.  There will be no car Christmas decorating anytime in the near future.  In fact my car and Paco's car will never be decorated.  Never.   Cars will only decked out in Holiday splendor when you are 17, with your own car to yourself and driving yourself to school.  I'll hang the parols, install the lights and wrap it up in a big, fat bow.  Heck I'll even super glue the Christmas tree on the roof just for my babies!