23 February 2012

Smart Parenting Mompreneurs

Thrilled to be one of Smart Parenting's SP Mompreneurs.

22 February 2012

Blog Love From Palawan

We love hearing from happy shoppers. Palawan resident Team Swangelista gets her shopping fix at Mothering Earthlings.

21 February 2012

Brad Who

Gael:  Who was your favorite boy classmate?

Me:  Brad Pitt.

Aiden:  Was he your classmate when you were little?

Me:  Actually he was never my classmate, he comes out in movies.

Gael:  You mean he is an actor?

Me: Yup.

Gael and Aiden: Oh.  *yawn*

Me:  He was the voice of one of the krill in Happy Feet 2 AND Metroman in Megamind.

Aiden:  REALLY? The krill was funny.

Gael:  That is soooooooooo cool!

Brad Pitt may have done The Fight Club, Inglourious Basterds, Seven and a gazillion cool non animated movies but not cool enough for the earthlings apparently.

What The Hell Was I Thinking?

I don't usually get buyer's remorse, I love to shop.  I was a shop girl for many years and I know what or what not to buy.  I am aware of what will look good on me and what will make me look like crap.  I can often tell if it is an item that will last or is a disposable one wear one washing item.  But there are still those times that I look at my closet and think WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING????

Animal print is hot but zebra print sunglasses?

17 February 2012

Toilet Humor

Why do kids think poop is the funniest thing ever?  If there were 100 kids in a room and one of them yells POOP!  I bet you anything it will make the other 99 keel over with laughter.  With the earthlings it only takes one mention of the word poop to set off a whole chain of not very funny and absolutely disgusting poop related interjections.  Aiden is in the endearing age where poop is constantly in his thoughts, jokes, conversations and even his songs.  It is much more than calling his brother a poopoo head or  making silly and nonsensical poop jokes.  He has made songs about poop.  More precisely he substitutes words in sweet nursery rhymes and begins a total poopfest.

Twinkle, twinkle little poop.
How I wonder how you poop.
Up above the poop so high.
Like a poop in the toilet.

You get the picture.

As you can see from his terribly revolting song this new theme of his is not limited to poop alone, it includes toilets as well.  Why the hell not go for the full effect, right?  Just the other day he tells me that at school he invented a game for him and his classmates.  They had to go inside the toilet, swim and the first one that comes out in the other toilet is the winner.  When I asked him who won he said no one played the game.  Gee, I wonder why?  At Gael's football practice he supports his big brother by yelling GO TOILET! Loud enough for all the soccer parents to hear.  Ummm, yes that's my kid with the toilet cheers.

It still doesn't end here.  It seems poop thoughts have been heavy on Aiden's mind.  He now wants to know scientific facts why poop stinks and why we have to do the deed at all.  Apparently he has also done his own investigation and has come to the conclusion that there is a conveyor belt in his butt that makes him poop.  Lastly, yes I will finally conclude this lovely post and put an end to your wretched misery if you've actually gotten this far, he has resolved that farts are poop bubbles without the poop.

Delightful, isn't he?

16 February 2012

Next9 Bloomers on Girls Gone Child

Rebecca Woolf celebrates her twins' 3 months in Next9 bloomers on Girl's Gone Child.  Boheme and Reverie  look absolutely perfect with their funky hats and legwarmers.

08 February 2012

Current Obsession

Aiden got the most adorable present from Eliza of The Painter's Wife.  He squealed with delight when he saw it and immediately gave it a kiss.  I had no idea she was so crafty! Thank you Eli for making the penguin obsessed earthling so happy.

07 February 2012

Soccer Mom Duties

I've mentioned probably way too many times that I have a sporty earthling that is crazy about football.  I've told you all about his football fever, I've bragged about his winning, heck I've even claimed the life of a soccer mom.  Well here goes yet another post about Gael and football.  But before you think this will be ESPN-ly exhilaryawning this one is way better than the rest.  I dare say even the best.  I promise.

Gael trains one and a half hours twice a week and he is exhausted by the end of the day.  I'm the last person to ask about sports but the drills and scrimmage seem pretty intense.  Ninety minutes of training/cardio/exercise/aerobics/yoga I would think is a workout for an adult let alone a 6 year old.  In the evenings, after he takes his shower, he is beat and looking forward to getting into bed.  As you can imagine bedtime has never been sweeter and if I it weren't too cruel to make him train 5-days a week I would.  Just like any workout it gets him all achy and sore.  So much so that he started asking for a massage about year ago.  At first he wanted to have one when my lovely masajista would come to kneed the knots out of my shoulders.  Thai, Swedish, Shiatsu or any massage on a young child doesn't sound like a good idea to me.  Instead I took being a soccer mom to the next level and offered to give him the massage myself.

He was in heaven and I was elevated to best mom in the world.  For that brief moment the massage lasted at least.  Then he started asking for a massage even on days he didn't have football, random nights which quickly became every night.  Hold your horses there sporty spice.  Thou shalt not abuse thy mother.  I managed to negotiate soccer mom massage duties only to days of actual training, games or tournaments if I did the massage with oil.  Because a massage isn't a real massage without oil according to him.  So everything was in order, the routine was going smoothly and a sense of calm reigned in the Guerrero home.  Until last night.  I was giving Gael his foot rub at bedtime when he asks me if there is such a thing as a penis massage.  Just like that.  Out of the blue.  With no warning.

I had to muster up all the maturity and parenting skills in me to not giggle and say "HELL YEAH!!!!! YOU BET THERE IS SUCH A THING AS A PENIS MASSAGE!!!!" In hind sight I should have told him to ask his father since I don't have a penis and I wouldn't really know.  When in doubt pass the buck, right?  But I was trying to be the mature adult that I am so what else was there to do than just ignore him, pretend not to hear him and redirect the subject as far away as possible.  "That goal you scored this afternoon was soooooooo gooooood!!!!"

03 February 2012

More on Vagdes

My mom emailed me this picture thinking that I would find it funny.  Thanks, Mama!  You know me so well.  I hope it's a Philippine brand so I can get them for the shop.