01 August 2013

Moving On To Sperm

It's been a while since we talked about sex around here.  There hasn't been much development in the sex education of the earthlings, they had been obsessing about the hows, the whens and whys of the baby coming out of the vagina.  Until my brother had a baby 3 months ago and the subject of how babies are made has been revisited.    But what used to be an enlightening point of conversation for them now seems to be preschool fodder.  Vaginal and Cesarian births are so 2011.  So two years ago.  So very 4-year-old.   

Right now what they can't get over is the fact that we come from eggs and we women have eggs inside us.  I see them looking at me with an odd furrow in their brow, a slight look of horror on their eyes and I know that they are trying their best not to picture me all fowl-like laying the egg that will soon be them and sitting on it till they hatch.  No, they still cannot believe they were once an egg. They have way too many questions that make me want to tell them about my period just to gross them out and shut them up.  Who am I kidding, these two will not flinch at the mentioned of blood and gore.  They will love talking about it or even worse they might just want to see it for themselves.  So I just stick to the general topic, give them technically correct answers and try to steer the conversation away from the penis entering the vagina.

Their questions would have the anti RH ignorants pulling their hair out and whipping my ass with it.  Curious minds conquer ignorance and I can only oblige the earthlings.  I give them factual but age appropriate replies.  Eggs are so small you need a microscope to see them and no you cannot see mine if you put a microscope to my tummy.  Girls are born with all the eggs which are ready to become babies when the girl becomes an adult (sort of).  They are found in a part of the woman's body called the ovary, it is like a small sack that has all the eggs.  There are finite number of eggs and when they are all gone women go through the hell on earth we know as menopause. 

I was treading thin ice, giving out too many facts in one go and this would eventually leave me with no where else to go but full on intercourse.  It didn't take long for eggs to bore Gael who soon after asks me how exactly the egg becomes a baby.  He didn't seem too shocked when I told him that sperm comes into the egg and it becomes a baby.  I am pretty sure he has no idea what sperm is or where it comes from or how it gets in the egg but right there and then I was saved by the art of distraction.  Right at that moment we had arrived at our destination to watch Despicable Me 2 and sperm didn't seem all that important when a Japanese lunch, popcorn and Gru were waiting for us.