12 August 2013

The Rebel Without A Cause

Whoever said karma is a bitch sure as hell wasn't kidding and he must have must have met Aiden in a past life.

If you are family, a friend or have been here before, then you must be wondering what the hell has this crazy kid has done this time.   The kid who has my heart pounding every time I get a call from his teachers or the school or gets me to do a dance of joy when nothing alarming comes out of PTCs.  The kid who makes me want to burn all the parenting books I've read, write one of my own and call the it The Naughtiest Kid In The Fucking Universe. This little devil has actually outdone himself by skipping school.  It wasn't the usual feigning of a stomach/head/tooth/PMS ache.  He didn't even bother with lying about not feeling well in the morning or getting himself to the clinic before lunch until school called me to come get him so he could have the whole afternoon to watch cartoons in his undies.  No that was far too simple and way too boring for the wildly creative child that is Aiden.  He had bigger things in mind and a much more convoluted plan.  He had the balls to actually go to school and cut his Chinese class.  He doesn't go to a big school where he can hide in many nooks and crannies during the many pointless and boring school assemblies.  You know places like the college bathrooms, backstage of the school auditorium or the supplies room next to the grade 7 class rooms.  Places where you could do even more pointless things like take a nap, smoke a cigarette or just hang out with friends.

Yes, I did all that (and then some) but I was in high school.  I was a hormonal teenager full of dumb drama, it can't be helped.  But Aiden is in kindergarten.  KINDERGARTEN!!!  He had been hating this extracurricular Chinese class I had enrolled him in.  He used to love the Chinese class at preschool, he went for 3 whole years.  But things were going so well at school, Aiden wanted to see me sweat.  It was one complain after another and Chinese was so damn boring all he did was sit at a desk.  Yeah, tell that to 90% of the earth's population! After days of hell trying to get Aiden to eat his breakfast, brush his teeth, get out of his pajamas and to school on time I decided to give everyone a breather -  a one week break from Chinese.  He needed a break and I needed a few Whiskey Sours.  After the week long break, we reassessed and he agreed to give it another shot.

Or so I thought.  That first day after the break he came home with that evil smile of his and no amount of questioning could break him, all I got was his sinister laugh.  There was no complaining, no whining, no throwing of limp bodies on the floor.  Everything apparently went swimmingly well and this is when I smelled something fishy.  After a quick text message to his teacher I find out that he told the school he was still on a break.  He had the nerve to lie to everyone, the brashness to stay in the library until Chinese class was over and the arrogance to join the class afterwards.  It is inconceivable that this 6 year old preschooler managed to make a mockery of his school and everyone involved (including myself!) and nearly got away with it.  I cannot wait for karma to come around and bite him in the butt.